Challenge number one begins with the end days of my pregnancy with Caleb. I begin to have blood pressure problems. My blood pressure is raising. Uh oh. I’m put on strict bed rest, but that doesn’t seem to ease the situation so off to the hospital I go for more tests. At this point, I am 39 weeks pregnant and 3 days. They test further and yes, the blood pressure has become worrisome to them. And in addition to that, I have a low platelet count. They actually tell me I have the beginning stages of a Syndrome called HELLP which stands for Hemolysis (blood pressures issues), Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelet count. I never did have the liver enzymes leak, but they weren’t going to wait to see if it was going to happen. They recommended I be induced and get this baby out quick as the worry is that if I have severe high blood pressure, which I didn’t yet, then I wouldn’t be able to have a c-section should I require assistance with the delivery.
Okay, Saturday morning drive to the hospital for tests turns into a week long stay in the hospital. After being induced and 12 hours of labour taking VERY long to really get moving I opted for an epidural. I could sleep a little to gain some energy to help with the delivery and then the fun really began. The doctor came to check on me and actually said to me “You need the patience of Job today”. Okay Lord, now I get it. You wanted me to read Job so I would be able to deal with this a little better. But I was missing so much of the big picture still.
The delivery itself was uneventful. A bunch of pushing and crying and finally a beautiful baby pops out. We immediately knew he was a boy by the ball sack hanging down. Despite the nurses thoughts that it was a girl causing all this hassle. 🙂 After delivering Caleb and my placenta I began hemorrhaging and they were concerned for my life. They jammed a needle in my leg with something to stop the bleeding. Stuck something up my butt (sorry for the visual) and added something to the iv that was already in my arm from the induction. Finally the bleeding did stop, but at this point I had felt like I’d been run over by a truck as they were extremely aggressive at pushing on my uterus to get out all the blood clots that were forming.
What looked like it was going to be a one night stay because my blood count began rising very quickly and they were surprised that I didn’t need a transfusion after all the blood loss, actually turned into a 5 night stay because my poor little sweetie got jaundice. Due to the blood loss, my milk took a few extra days to really come in so he was dehydrated and wasn’t getting enough fluids to move his system well. That in itself was the most stressful part of my life seeing my poor baby in a box with an iv in his hand and not being able to hold him except for feedings. And praise God, they had a private room for us so Jason and I could sleep cuddling together watching our son in the tanning bed beside us.
After we were finally released from the hospital and back home life was so much happier. The stress of concern for our son was off and we were in our place of comfort. I could finally begin to enjoy being a mother. Nursing was great. Sleeping wasn’t too bad. Life was really good. My only real issues was that I was feeling a little hard on myself for having lost my faith and given over to fear the moment I was told about my high blood pressure, and my bleeding issues, and Caleb’s jaundice. I wasn’t very proud of my fear and of how little faith I truly had during that time. I was still praying, but I believe I didn’t actually trust Him to respond and take care of us. And yet God was still faithful.
1 Corinthians 1:9
9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
He wasn’t going to let me stay in this place of low faith. He truly has brought me full circle as you will read in future posts and showed Himself to me as Jehovah Rapha – the God who heals. He has healed my heart of that painful experience in so many ways.