So, after almost two weeks of waiting, I finally get a call from the gynecologists office and they advise me that they couldn’t actually get an appointment with that doctor because of his schedule, but they did manage to arrange an appointment with a different doctor. I actually felt quite disappointed because I was so confident in the name meaning healer, but God asked me to look up her name instead. Turns out, her name is WAY better. Her name, Stephanie, means “Crowned in Victory”. So now God said, a healer has the ability to heal, but you’ve been Crowned in Victory already. Past tense!!! Like, I had nothing to worry about and it’s all been taken care of thanks to my Heavenly Daddy.
So, again, Praise Him for being so very clear in portraying His truth and giving me tons and tons of encouragement to stand in faith. The name of the doctor was just one tiny piece of all that God had in store for me encouragement wise. In fact, as I was working through a bible study of Beth Moore’s called Believing God, I came across this scripture and it just jumped off the page as if to flash in neon lights that this was one for me. Have any of you ever had that happen, you’re reading the bible and a scripture almost vibrates to make sure you notice what it is saying? 2 Corinthians 2:14 says:
14 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.
He was confirming the victory, ALWAYS LEADS US IN TRIUMPH. And in fact, the rest of the verse helped me to understand why I had spent so much time in hospitals over the past 21 months. God had actually led me just prior to all this happening to buy a few essential oils and a diffuser to spread their scent throughout the room. So because of the actual experience of smelling the scent when I turn on the diffuser, when I read this scripture I GOT it. I understood that me, full of His Presence, being in those places, was like a diffuser spreading His scent all around. Those who had no knowledge of Christ prior to me being there were now surrounded by His fragrance and all I had to do was be there carrying the Presence. Now that’s easy evangelism!!!
My mom and Jason and Caleb and I all head down to the hospital on the day of my appointment. We get to the waiting room and I check in. There is almost no one else there waiting which seems odd to me, but very cool also. As it turns out, the Lord had totally arranged it so I would have the best visit ever. The doctor had originally been scheduled all day for a clinic and so normally it would have been packed with women. But, she had cancelled the clinic prior to them booking my appointment. So, when they rescheduled the clinic, there were almost no appointments on that day as every else had rescheduled for the clinic a week later. I had the doctor to myself for almost an hour during my appointment and only had to wait for her about ten minutes. Thanks Jesus for making this day go so smoothly.
During the appointment the doctor shared with me that her recommendation was a full hysterectomy. She felt that they had enough information and didn’t need to do any further test of the tissue or any imaging scans. The only way to ensure I would survive was to cut out the uterus and both ovaries. Get Behind Me Satan! That’s not in my or God’s plan!!! I obviously didn’t actually say that out loud as I think that would probably have completed offended her, (but I wanted to) but I did remember when Jesus said it to Peter in Mark 8:33:
33 But when He had turned around and looked at His disciples, He rebuked Peter, saying, “Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”
And I realized that she was only suggesting actions based on what she knew – worldly thinking. We did have a short period of tension where she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t afraid for my life and wasn’t immediately jumping at the chance to cut out the cancer. In fact at one point, she turned to my mother and said “If she doesn’t treat this, she will die.” And despite the fact that there was so much potential for feeling fear as she was delivering some potentially scary news, the three of us, me, mom and Jason, were all calm and in agreement that we were not agreeing to a hysterectomy. And all of a sudden the atmosphere in the room changed and she stopped being so adamant that it was surgery to remove my uterus or I was going to die and finally she agreed to do some more tests and we were sent home.
Whew, that was one crazy doctors appointment. This is where the real fun began. I had the choice to feel the fear or to believe in the Promise of God and keep following Him. I had many moments of sadness and fear overcome me, but as 2 Corinthians 10:5 instructs us, we are to:
5 … demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
So, I was learning how to take every thought captive and make it obedient. Not entertaining any thoughts of fear or doubt, but immediately rebuke them as I knew they were not from God. 2 Timothy 1:7 says it all:
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
In the coming weeks, Jesus was so faithful to continue encouraging and guiding me. I can’t wait to share with you all I actually want to jump ahead and post about 8 blog posts at once, but hey, then I have to find the time to write them and you have to find the time to read them. Praise God for patience!
If I don’t manage to get another one posted prior to the day we celebrate our Blessed King, may you and your families all have a very Merry Christmas. Love to you all. Please enjoy my absolutely favourite rendition of my favourite Christmas Carol here.